I have been thinking of how much I love blogging, it has been such a creative outlet to me. I have learned so much about myself since I started blogging in March.....it really is amazing how much it has meant to me. One of the things I never expected to gain from blogging would be making so many new friends. As a stay at home mom, having daily interaction with real adults has done wonders for my well being. Hopefully, I am not the only weirdo that feels this way.
I started thinking of how fun it would be to get to know some other bloggers a bit more. You know, what they are really about and what made them want to join this blogging world in the first place. So, I will be starting a series called "The Voice Behind......."
We all have a story
And I guess I should start with
Well, as you may have guessed from the name of this blog, I consider myself to be a bit creative. Others have told me this, but honestly I never did really believe them. I just knew that when I was being creative in any way...I was happy. I mean the kind of happy that makes all the stuff you worry about just go away.
I was this creative girl for a very long time and some where in the middle of taking care of kids, our home and all the other things that tend to pile up in life, I forgot how to be creative. I sort of lost who I was, you know.
I didn't realize that all the normal stresses of life were really bogging me down. I thought this was normal to everyone and I would think, "one day, once the kids are big enough, I will get back to doing some things for me."
Well, what happens when you put yourself on the back burner of life for too long, in my case anyway, one day it all becomes too much.
One day last December, after a morning of rushing around with the kids, I got home and had my very first panic attack.
At the time I had no idea what was happening to me. I thought, "this is it, I'm having a heart attack!". It was scary enough for me to call my mother in law and tell her I needed to go hospital. She called my husband and told him he needed to come home from work to meet us at the hospital. After seeing the ER doctor, have heart monitors placed all over me, and a chest X-ray to rule out anything too serious, the very sweet doctor told me that I had experienced a panic attack.
This shocked me for some reason.....and as I tried to listen to her, in the back of my mind I was worried. Not about myself but I was worried for my two children, that I was here in the hospital and I wasn't the one taking care of them. I worried that I had caused my husband to have to leave work. I was just worried.
You would have thought this was my "ah ha" moment, but it wasn't.
That came much later.
I went to see my doctor...I cried in his office so much that I was sure he was going to have me committed right then and there, but he didn't. What he did say was, "you have to start taking care of YOU or you will have nothing left to give to anyone else."
Hmm...there's a thought. But how would I do that? I still have so much to do.
After a few months of sleepless nights and very long and tiring days...I found myself praying. A lot. I prayed that God would use this experience to teach me more about myself. I prayed that He would give me something bigger that what I was going through so I could find my joy again. I needed to be reminded to take care of ME.
Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant. Baby number three! How in the world was I going to do this??
But then my "ah ha" moment came....I have to take care of myself, my body and my mind because there was someone else in here now. God was teaching me how to take better care of ME because he had given me a baby that I couldn't see or touch yet. The only way I could take care of this little baby was by taking care of ME.....amazing how He works, right?
So....that was a really LONG way of telling you why I started blogging in the first place. I simply needed to find myself again. I needed to be creative and get back to that place of pure happy when all the other stuff just seems to go away.
I bet you didn't know why your comments and sweet words of encouragement meant so much to me....now you know :)
And I thank you....I don't doubt for one single second that God placed you all in my life for a purpose.
Thanks for following along is this creative journey of mine.......