Saturday, November 5, 2011

The Voice Behind....Creative Carmella

I have been thinking of how much I love blogging, it has been such a creative outlet to me. I have learned so much about myself since I started blogging in March.....it really is amazing how much it has meant to me. One of the things I never expected to gain from blogging would be making so many new friends. As a stay at home mom, having daily interaction with real adults has done wonders for my well being. Hopefully, I am not the only weirdo that feels this way.

I started thinking of how fun it would be to get to know some other bloggers a bit more. You know, what they are really about and what made them want to join this blogging world in the first place. So, I will be starting a series called "The Voice Behind......."
We all have a story

And I guess I should start with
 mine

Well, as you may have guessed from the name of this blog, I consider myself to be a bit creative. Others have told me this, but honestly I never did really believe them. I just knew that when I was being creative in any way...I was happy. I mean the kind of happy that makes all the stuff you worry about just go away.
I was this creative girl for a very long time and some where in the middle of taking care of kids, our home and all the other things that tend to pile up in life, I forgot how to be creative. I sort of lost who I was, you know.
I didn't realize that all the normal stresses of life were really bogging me down. I thought this was normal to everyone and I would think, "one day, once the kids are big enough, I will get back to doing some things for me."
Well, what happens when you put yourself on the back burner of life for too long, in my case anyway, one day it all becomes too much.
One day last December, after a morning of rushing around with the kids, I got home and had my very first panic attack.
At the time I had no idea what was happening to me. I thought, "this is it, I'm having a heart attack!".  It was scary enough for me to call my mother in law and tell her I needed to go hospital. She called my husband and told him he needed to come home from work to meet us at the hospital. After seeing the ER doctor, have heart monitors placed all over me, and a chest X-ray to rule out anything too serious, the very sweet doctor told me that I had experienced a panic attack.
This shocked me for some reason.....and as I tried to listen to her, in the back of my mind I was worried. Not about myself but I was worried for my two children, that I was here in the hospital and I wasn't the one taking care of them. I worried that I had caused my husband to have to leave work. I was just worried.
You would have thought this was my "ah ha" moment, but it wasn't.
That came much later.
I went to see my doctor...I cried in his office so much that I was sure he was going to have me committed right then and there, but he didn't. What he did say was, "you have to start taking care of YOU or you will have nothing left to give to anyone else."
Hmm...there's a thought. But how would I do that? I still have so much to do.
After a few months of sleepless nights and very long and tiring days...I found myself praying. A lot. I prayed that God would use this experience to teach me more about myself. I prayed that He would give me something bigger that what I was going through so I could find my joy again. I needed to be reminded to take care of ME.
Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant. Baby number three! How in the world was I going to do this??

But then my "ah ha" moment came....I have to take care of myself, my body and my mind because there was someone else in here now. God was teaching me how to take better care of ME because he had given me a baby that I couldn't see or touch yet. The only way I could take care of this little baby was by taking care of ME.....amazing how He works, right?

So....that was a really LONG way of telling you why I started blogging in the first place. I simply needed to find myself again. I needed to be creative and get back to that place of pure happy when all the other stuff just seems to go away.

I bet you didn't know why your comments and sweet words of encouragement meant so much to me....now you know :)
And I thank you....I don't doubt for one single second that God placed you all in my life for a purpose.
Thanks for following along is this creative journey of mine.......

13 comments:

  1. Carmella,
    Thanks for sharing your story. Everyone has a story of some sorts. What I appreciated the most about your experience was how you put your trust in God to know what He intended for your life. It's amazing, wonderful, and downright awesome! Sometimes we have to go through something really hard and scary to understand where God is taking us.

    I'm not glad you had the scary panic attack. But I'm thankful that you received help from a doctor who had some excellent advice. It's hard to know how to balance everything in our lives. But it sounds as if you are on the right track.

    I'm so happy for you that you have a wonderful little family! Such a blessing to have a great husband and special little children. Keep taking care of yourself and keep being creative! Because as you've figured out, by sharing your creativity with us here, you're also helping us out!

    Have a great weekend!!
    Hugs,
    Nancy

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  2. I was crying before I got through the first line!! I love you, you are amazing, inspiring and the best friend a gal could get! I would be lost without you in my life! I missed your face everyday for the few years of hiatus I took! I am so proud of you for putting this out there because we all have struggles and when we come from from a place or relating instead of judgement its so much easier!! The importance of the other bloggers in your life flows just as impacting in the other direction! Love you lady! You inspire me, not just creatively but to be my best always! You make me better! Thank you for that!

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  3. Great post - thanks for sharing. Looking forward to your new series. :)

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  4. I am inspired by your story...thank you so much for sharing! I am a teacher with two kids and my husband is going through a career change, which has been a bit tough. It's so hard to remember to put yourself first at times....AND to put your faith in God to help you out. I'm so glad you were able to find a way to focus on yourself!

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  5. Carmella, I am so glad you found a creative outlet. God does work in amazing ways! It's great getting to know you through the blogging world. I look forward to following your journey.
    Hugs,
    Debbie

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  6. I love this post, so honest and inspiring. I have always had a belief that even all the hard things that come are way are truly there to pave the way for something better. I am glad that you have figured it out and want to share all your creativity with us, I am greatful that I have meet someone as creative and supportive as you.

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  7. I just Love you! ("That's all I have to say about that!")

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  8. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm glad you found your voice and time to spend on yourself. It is so important for our well being, mentally and physically, to focus on ourselves. My blog has become my outlet from a hectic career and my graduate workload. It provides the fun and interaction I need to unwind and be "me" again.

    I love getting to know the real voice behind the blogs I follow so I'm looking forward to your series.

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  9. Thank you for sharing that with us :) Your sweet & awesome and creative, I'm glad I met you as a "blog friend!" You are totally right, too! You gotta take care of yourself so you can sanely take care of your family ;). I look forward to reading your new series!

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  10. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I have learned the same thing; if I pour everything into Little Crafter and the house and everything else that's a responsibility but don't make sure I'm taking care of myself, all of it suffers in the long run. I think your new series is a great idea. And I agree, bloggy friendships have been a real blessing to me too...glad to have you as one of them, sweet friend!

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  11. Awesome post, Carmella! It's so cool how blogging has done that same thing for so many of us. I'm glad you learned such valuable lessons. We gotta take care of ourselves so that we can be filled up to take care of our families. Keep up the good work!!! Glad to be your bloggy friend. :)

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  12. Such a beautiful post Carmella! I have often had those talks with God too, wanting some kind of sign or message from him. I feel the same way about all those comments from so many people you've never met and may never meet.

    Beautifully written! I love the one above too with you and your son :-) So sweet!!!

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  13. Carmella, I just found "The Voice Behind"....such a brave step for such a beautiful person...so glad we have got the chance to start a friendship and I look forward to it growing!

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